a christmas melange.

beck is one cool guy. mix mix. check check.

No. 16: Hot Sun Of A Christmas Day by planned_obsolescence

dark nights.

the longest night of the year arrives tomorrow. these short days, long nights. so much darkness. so much going in. haven't been able to fully experience it. the daily grind of this and that distracts from the moment- from the quietness of the night- the warmth of the fire. more intention to be in this dark time, with more awareness and gratitude for the darkness surrounding and the light that's coming...

december rolls in.

the weeks are sliding by without a word on here. term is wrapping up, it's time for serious-head-down-work and then another term will be complete.

stepped out of one reality and into another this week. visited baby r. reminded me of the simplicity and immediateness that comes when being around a small one. everything is in the moment. it's a good place to be. wondering what he sees through those big blue eyes, what he hears through those soft little ears, and what he thinks in his perfect head...

and then there was a bus trip back into the city. although computer was on my lap, chipping away at a paper, i was able to get back into that supreme zone of blurry landscape, bouncing light. one of my favourite things, gazing out the window, things out of focus, yet so clear...

so now, nose to grindstone for just a wee bit longer.

JAPW

start of my heart.

one of my fave videos, and a beautiful song that takes me on a road, every time.

props to joan as police woman.

open heart.

peering into the inside of someone's heart will forever be an image etched into the fabric of my brain. an experience so intimate, yet so depersonalized, so complex.

last week, i was looking into someone's living body- then i stepped back for a moment to contextualize the situation- i attempted to make that connection between the head of the patient with eyes closed under the sterile drape and the chest cavity open and the heart beating. this is something that isn't seen by many people. it's one of those experiences that is a sort of rite of passage, in the same way that seeing a baby being born for the first time leaves you changed forever. standing in surgery, listening to the surgeon's discuss their plan, watching them sew their delicate seams, all of it so visceral, and so profound. i'm left with a sense of pure awe, amazement and wonder- the resilience of this human body.

h1n1

it got me. the h1n1 influenza knocked on my door and waltzed right in without asking. it made me feel like i'd run a marathon- legs aching, back aching, head pounding, heart pounding. confirmation with a 38.1 degree fever. didn't even have time to get the damn vaccine.

daily, i read the newspaper. new pandemic headlines- "why panic is not the answer," "provinces scramble to fight flu's second wave," "flu-shot clinics struggle to keep up with demand," etc etc.

there is something odd, and perfect, about sitting on the couch with the flu whilst reading about the pandemic sweeping the nation. at least i know it's not all about me.

we're on day 4 here, the h1n1, and i have to say we are a bit more amicable with one another, since we've had so much Q time on the couch. i want to ask, "when are you leaving me? i've had enough. i've got halloween to enjoy, school to work on, clinical to pass. so why you staying past your welcome?" it doesn't say much to me. it watches battlestar gallactica over my shoulder, observes my mindless browsing of facebook and other such internet sites, all while perching comfortably at the edge of the sofa sipping orange juice.

i'm trying to be patient here, trying to ride through this, but moments of frustration can overcome, so now i am making granola.

golden again.

fall leaves, fall trees, trees' leaves' falling in the breeze.

this autumn light and autumn air, there's something about this time of year.

shoot photo.

been thinking a lot about photos. wanting to shoot, snap, take- whatever the verb is. wondering about using the flash, how can i make that work? not sure at this point- only more experimenting. but then what about the hölga? what about the pinhole? so much to explore. get the camera in hand and then wonder - what is there to photograph? keep it at my side and then moments are revealed. thoughts. thinking. wondering. seeing.

project: give thanks

a delightful and delicious feast with good friends on the weekend of giving thanks. everything went off without a hitch, turkey sitting proud for all to see.

a beautiful banner made by the wonderful sarah van s. and friends together again to nosh and laugh and drink and play! what a night!

the night concluded with a glow stick dance party,

music pumping, bellies full, but busting a move nonetheless. absolutely thank-full for all this bounty, all this love, and all these shining people...

back to the city.

a few photos from the drive back down the coast.

news has arrived.

a baby boy has been born to dearest angela and greg on october 2nd. one week this summer, angela and rach came up to the coast and we embarked on a tweed ocean adventure. what resulted was the baby's new sea themed mobile. each creature has it's own personality. happy birthday baby roan!

seasons change.

almost 2 months slide by before i get another post on the blog. what a time of transition the fall always is. finishing working in PR, leaving the point, back to school, new things going on... settling into the cooler weather and busy days that mark the beginning of school again. now it is countdown. only 7 months to go, and how can it be?

there is so many things that i want to mention, and photos i want to post, and where to begin again?

as my time at the hospital came to a close, i started thinking about the drive that has been the routine, the ritual, the rhythm of my summer. i snapped a couple of my favourite moments on the drive, and here they are to rest on this page. that time in the early morning, or the early evening was a time of quiet, of reflection, and of motion. driving along the roads that i got to know so well, i had time to listen to music to end my day or start it, and on those mornings after night shift, i had to pump the beats to delay sleep for just a few more minutes til i could slide into bed.

reflecting on that time, now, in october, i can begin to fully appreciate those quiet mornings and slow evenings, in between the busy-ness of the hospital, and beauty of being nestled in the forest with the ocean all around me.

morning road.

i took this video some months back... morning drive to the ferry on the coast....

but only now, in the solitude of this place, have i gotten around to editing...

music is a short song by andrew bird.

baby eagle.

almost flying. perching on a limb. the wind a blowing.

delight.

a couple of great women came up to see me.

truly delightful.

we did some cooking.

'zza on the grill.

my new favourite thing to make on a summer evening is bar-be-que pizza! it is the best thing since sliced bread- i would argue even BETTER than toast.

roll your dough out nice and thin, and heat up the BBQ to quite hot. then grease the grill. next gently toss the slab of dough onto the grill... turn down the BBQ so it doesn't char the pizza. grill for about 3-4 minutes, until it has nice grill marks on it when checking underneath. next, oil the top of the dough with a brush, then using 2 flippers FLIP it! then quickly add your toppings to the already grilled side- you want toppings that are light and don't need cooking. here, i used thinly sliced tomatoes and chevre, to good effect. when you see nice grill marks on the bottom take that baby off, and you are ready to cut into squares and mange mange!

i was thinking that some caramelized onions or some other delightful pre-cooked topping would work really well. for the dough, i used the ReBar recipe for focaccia and cut it into 3 pieces.

...on a hot afternoon.

it's hot. it's july. i need some shade... i find myself sitting in the darkened hallway peering through albums of photographs.

family relics.

these ones i found to be especially intriguing. it's hard for me to describe what i love about photographs, but i think that these speak for themselves. i took my own photographs of them, with hopes that when they are in the open for us to see, we can think and remember and imagine and believe. it's also a clear reminder that this place i am in holds history. the ancestors are all around me. this bay is our house of spirits.

hot days.

the moon is orange and hanging low in the sky, about to dip below the horizon. hot days. smokin' days. splashing in ocean, so warm, i was barely refreshed. like a tide pool. dove down deep to feel the cold water on my hot face. paints are out. music is on. breeze rustling in the trees, salt sea air coming in through the window.

days off. day three of five. getting settled into this summer routine. 12 hour days, then 12 hour nights, then a reprieve. much needed. feels good. valuable learning. feeling fortunate to have these opportunities... time to slide into bed, with new fan to keep me cool.

buh-bye city, hello coastal.

jazz fest come and gone... folk fest is this weekend. i have left the city. in the quiet of the point, on the coast, in the trees. swimming in the ocean. tide in and out. close encounter with an otter. salmon freshly caught by neighbours in the bay... potatoes from marcie's garden, chard, raspberries.... long evenings. quiet nights.

summer sights.

a few photographs from the past month...

golden grass on the point.

long shadows on a wander one early july.

the sky opened.

pup in yard.