two weeks since the turn of the year.

2009 ended and 2010 began on an island on the west coast. hornby island.

a's little cabin. perched on a bluff above the stormy winter seas.

friends gathered.

we danced the new year into existence. then we danced some more. we also ate soup. really good stuff. there was also a swim in the cold waters of january 01, 2010.

what a glorious excursion.

new baby.

... on new years eve morning i was on the ferry en route to a hornby island adventure. my phone buzzed and i answered a call from mom saying: the baby has been born! a baby boy for uncle m & aunt y! the boat was quiet that morning, people dozing, reading, sipping hot drinks. i let out a shriek of excitement and happiness and suddenly the whole ferry boat knew about my new baby cousin!

... 3 days later i am in the car driving to whistler with auntie k. time to meet the babe. when i first lay eyes on him i am astounded by his smallness. this little being travelled into the world after living 38 weeks in his special cozy dark home... and now he's here to be with us! it's mind blowing. mama so strong and ready for this and so proud of this baby. dad in a state of euphoric love.

... now i am home after spending a very special 24 hours with the new little family unit. lots of cuddle time, lots of sleeping time for the little one, and lots of me just gazing at the little one on my arms. congratulations on the arrival of the new babe! XXX

(trying out the baby slings! looking good...)

a christmas melange.

beck is one cool guy. mix mix. check check.

No. 16: Hot Sun Of A Christmas Day by planned_obsolescence

dark nights.

the longest night of the year arrives tomorrow. these short days, long nights. so much darkness. so much going in. haven't been able to fully experience it. the daily grind of this and that distracts from the moment- from the quietness of the night- the warmth of the fire. more intention to be in this dark time, with more awareness and gratitude for the darkness surrounding and the light that's coming...

december rolls in.

the weeks are sliding by without a word on here. term is wrapping up, it's time for serious-head-down-work and then another term will be complete.

stepped out of one reality and into another this week. visited baby r. reminded me of the simplicity and immediateness that comes when being around a small one. everything is in the moment. it's a good place to be. wondering what he sees through those big blue eyes, what he hears through those soft little ears, and what he thinks in his perfect head...

and then there was a bus trip back into the city. although computer was on my lap, chipping away at a paper, i was able to get back into that supreme zone of blurry landscape, bouncing light. one of my favourite things, gazing out the window, things out of focus, yet so clear...

so now, nose to grindstone for just a wee bit longer.

JAPW

start of my heart.

one of my fave videos, and a beautiful song that takes me on a road, every time.

props to joan as police woman.

open heart.

peering into the inside of someone's heart will forever be an image etched into the fabric of my brain. an experience so intimate, yet so depersonalized, so complex.

last week, i was looking into someone's living body- then i stepped back for a moment to contextualize the situation- i attempted to make that connection between the head of the patient with eyes closed under the sterile drape and the chest cavity open and the heart beating. this is something that isn't seen by many people. it's one of those experiences that is a sort of rite of passage, in the same way that seeing a baby being born for the first time leaves you changed forever. standing in surgery, listening to the surgeon's discuss their plan, watching them sew their delicate seams, all of it so visceral, and so profound. i'm left with a sense of pure awe, amazement and wonder- the resilience of this human body.